Lately, when I go to bed I find my stomach tied in knots. I think “that’s o.k., just accept this state of being and acceptance will lead you to comfort, and comfort to sleep.” It hasn’t been happening for me. I’m fairly sure I could happily stay up all night, but I hate the idea of screwing Tristan over. Thinking of him laying in bed without me ties my stomach in worse knots. Why can’t we just meld into one person already? and be awake, hungry, angry, sleepy, and in love in the same moments? I wish we could create everything we create with the same hands.