I’m spending so much time, effort and money these days on learning about clothing construction, remembering which way to flat fell seam. My heart breaks when I ruin a welt pocket, and I feel horrible guilt if I know a part of a pattern I’m drafting is off by 1/8 of an inch. I’m completely drenched in it all.  I feel like Jackie Chan in a Kung Fu movie, being forced to carry huge amounts of water up huge amounts of stairs over and over again. Discipline. Sewing and re-sewing stitches over and over. Pressing and re-pressing fabric. Struggling and bleeding to make a rather ugly item of clothing. It’s my complete focus, and every now and then I lift my head up and out of that fog and I think “What the fuck am I doing?”

But then what the hell else should I be doing?




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